so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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