Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think people are normalizing furries
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
