so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
