So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
