I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
