dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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