how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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