What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
