come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
