dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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