i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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