Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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