Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
