some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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