i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
