my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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