Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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