woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
