I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
