I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
being pregnant is like rehab
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
