i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
