i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
