Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Houston, we have a blender
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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