I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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