he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
