no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
