i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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