I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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