You made me cry and you don't even care
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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