hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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