Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
