Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
this will be a night to untag.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
