so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
