Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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