I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
