When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
