Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do vagina's smell?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
