honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
