thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
