sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
