That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
