so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
