she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
