Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
