I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
