we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
