he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Farmville is her only friend.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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