i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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