Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
