and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
