so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
