somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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