you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
