just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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