Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I've blown a few things in my day
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
